12 Years post adoption....

Well, here we are...10 years after my last full post. Thought I'd catch you all up on what's been happening. Grace is now 12, and by that I mean full-blown all out 12 years old! She's into clothes, makeup and shoes (although DH and I don't let her wear makeup outside the house). Her passion is now figure skating. She started two years ago in January, and has progressed steadily to be in the pre-figure skating 2 class at our local ice skating rink. She also take private lessons with two different coaches and competes around the state. She's come a long way in those two years, but still has much to learn. I'm happy that she's found the sport that will keep her active and fit. She's also made friends with some of the other figure skaters, as she's joined the local skating club. In addition to skating, she is one smart cookie. She carries straight A's consistently in school and is in accelerated classes for Math and Language Arts. I know that at some point she'll hit a wall where she'll have to work harder to understand the concepts and maintain her GPA, but for now she seems to effortlessly maintain her grades. It's not because of anything DH or I have done, it's because she is a smart girl. We can't and don't take credit for it. All of the credit goes to her biological parents from whom she inherited her brains. We now have a second beagle dog. He's two years old. Our first beagle, C, had to be put down a few years ago because he had a brain tumor. it was the first time I'd experienced putting down an animal, and boy was it hard for all of us. I'm not a dog fanatic like some people, and I knew that it was the right thing to do, but even so there were lots of tears and sadness for a long while afterwards. I figured we were done with having a family dog, but then a couple of years ago in a weak moment we gave into getting a 7 week old beagle puppy, K. He's a sweet dog, and the girls love him. But even with the love they feel for him, I'm usually the one to take care of him. I'm guessing there are many parents out there that can relate! DD1 graduated college 3 years ago, and moved back home for about a year and half to figure out her future plans. She worked at a couple of different jobs that she didn't like, and decided to go back to being part time at the tanning salon while she works on her masters. She moved out of the house almost a year ago, and now is engaged to be married next summer. We've started the wedding planning already. It amazing how far in advance you have to plan these things. But it's going well, and she's happy. In the meantime, DD2 is graduating from college this coming summer. She's taken a job at an autism center close by, so she'll be moving back home in May. Then she'll be starting her masters after she pays off some (hopefully all) of her college debt. She's single and focusing on herself. I think that's a good plan for her right now. She'll have plenty of time to find the right guy and settle down. Right now is her time. DH is semi-retired now. He drives a school bus so we can keep health insurance, because I took a buy-out at my company and retired a few years ago. I absolutely LOVE being a SAHM to Grace. Working full-time during the time our older girls were growing up means I'm so grateful to have this time with my last baby. She and I are really close. We have our moments where we don't get along, but nothing out of the ordinary. That's not to say that it's all been roses...When Grace was 5 and she tasted her first sense of independence after learning to ride a two wheeler, we started seeing behavior issues that we just didn't know how to handle on our own. We started seeing a family counselor that specializes in attachment issues. I won't go into too much detail because I want to maintain privacy, but after a couple of years of work on mostly DH and I's parenting style, we came out the other side in good shape. I'm not expecting this to last forever, as I think we'll be headed back in for counseling as we try to navigate the teen years. I'm telling you all this, so as not to discourage anyone from adopting, but in order to be honest about what you may experience. Our counselor told us that when you adopt it's not a matter of if you'll need help from a professional, but rather a matter of when. As adoption issues will come up. And if you think about it, it makes sense. There's a profound loss that an adoptee experiences, and that causes trauma. Trauma is something that can't be buried, and must be addressed. That trauma may be expressed by your adopted child when they are young, a teenager, or an adult or maybe all of those stages in different manifestations. It's important to know that and be prepared. Before we adopted, we had to go through the classes taught by our adoption agency on trauma, attachment, behavior issues, etc. I remember hearing in the training classes that you "may" experience the issues brought up during the training, so I decided in my naivete that we would not be one of the people that would experience these issues. We'd be "the lucky ones". So when we did start having issues, I was surprised and in denial. I really wish that I'd understood more fully what I was getting myself into. I think I would've gone for help sooner and not been so hard on myself, my DH and my daughter because I felt like we'd failed in some way. We love our daughter and she loves us, but unfortunately it's not enough. Love does not cure all, but love does provide the basis for understanding that we all need help once in awhile, and there's no shame in that. So that's my tale of caution for anyone considering adoption.

2nd adoption?

Ok. I haven't seriously expressed this outloud to hardly anyone, but I feel like I need to get it off of my chest because it probably won't happen. I have been getting emails from an organization called Rainbow Kids about waiting children from Asia. Waiting children are children that are older (above 3 years old) that are available for adoption. I received about 6 emails over the last couple of weeks. Most of these children are girls, but there were a couple of boys too. Most of these children are healthy, but some of them are not.

I have been looking at these children feeling like maybe we are being called to adopt again. The disadvantages of course are our age, and the money. We can get around those though if God is truly calling us to adopt. The advantages are that Gracie would have sister or brother of Asian origin, and I've been told that as a transracial adopted child gets older, it helps them feel like they belong. Also, of course, we'd be giving another child a family and a chance to know Jesus as their savior. That's a big one. If, and that's a big if, since DH doesn't even want to consider it right now, we did this we'd be adopting a child that's older than Gracie. That would keep her as the baby of the family. I think that would be a good thing.

The big thing about this is that if we are being called to do this, we need to act on it almost immediately because of DH's age. We're about to age out of the possibility. I gingerly broached the subject with him, and his response was something about going crazy if we did adopt again. So, he's not on board.

I'm praying for discernment on this. I thing I need to let God work on DH's heart. If it's meant to be, then he'll come around. I waver back and forth on whether this is right for us or not, so I'm not even sure. Last time with Grace I was sure. So maybe it's just a dream, flash in the pan thought, or maybe....?

Our day at Holiday World

A couple of weeks ago we took a trip to Holiday World. Here's some video of Grace on one of the rides at the amusement park there.

Having blood drawn hardly ever goes well for me!

So the topic of my post today is getting blood drawn. Ever since I can remember getting any blood drawn for any reason, at any location all over the country, I've been told that I have small veins that are difficult to find. For years, I endured having someone poke me with needles trying to find that elusive vein that would produce blood. They poked, prodded, and worst of all, fished for the vein by moving the needle around in my arm without removing it. Always, it hurt, and usually I ended up bruised. Not a good experience, but I endured it because I thought there was no other way.

Until...We were living in Fairfax, VA and I had to have blood drawn for some reason I can't even remember. I had to go to a clinic to have the blood drawn, and you can imagine I was not looking forward to being a human pin cushion yet again. So I go in and tell the tech that was to draw my blood, a very nice young man, that I had small veins and that people always had trouble finding a good vein. This guy said something along the lines of "well, we'll take care of that by using a butterfly needle." I'd never heard of or seen a butterfly needle, but was truly impressed by how easily this tiny needle with "wings" went in and quickly found the vein producing the vials of blood that were needed. He told me that whenever I needed to have blood drawn I should always tell them to use a butterfly needle.

That experience was almost 20 years ago, and as you can imagine there have been many times after that where I've had to have blood drawn by many different technicians. Of course, I alwys tell whoever is working on me that I need to have a butterfly needle because of having difficult veins. Here's the part that just gets me everytime I go in to have blood drawn, about 9 times out of 10, the tech doesn't believe me and tries the standard needle. Sometimes I'll hear something about how they know what they are doing, and don't need someone to tell them how to draw blood. Sometimes they'll just ignore me and use the standard needle without saying anything. Today the woman that drew my blood, although being very nice, also did not believe me when I told her about the small veins needing to use a butterfly needle. She plowed on with the big needle in my arm, fishing around for the vein that couldn't be found. After I let out a small yelp when she was digging around, she finally gave up. She asked for the back of my hand on the opposite hand, got out a butterfly needle, and sure enough, first time was able to get blood and fill up the two tubes she needed.

So, what's with these technicians? Is it ego? Is it that they don't like someone else telling then how to do their job? Or is it a challenge for them (at my expense I might add!)? At any rate, I sure wish they'd get over it, and trust that I know what I'm talking about. It's not like I'm a teenager or something that hasn't been around for awhile!!! Argh!

We bought a new car (well sort of)!

On Saturday we went and picked up our 2002 Rav4, my new commuter car. It's really cute, and all 5 of us will fit in it if need be. We got a really good deal, and the insurance isn't too bad. Can't beat that!

2nd Annual Hands of Hope picnic

Well, as the title indicates, we had our 2nd picnic for the Hands of Hope Adoption and Orphan Care ministry on Sunday afternoon. I was a fun time. The weather was beautiful! We couldn't have asked for a better day. The kids all had fun, even my moody 15 year old daughter. Of course, that was because we told her she could bring a friend.

It was a small crowd, but everyone got along well and seemed to enjoy themselves. We had a few new families, and some that had adopted domestically, as we've expanded our ministry to include domestic adoptions.

I took both my camera and my Flip, but of course, I forgot to get them out, and hence no photos or video of the day. I thought afterwards that we should've had a group photo each year, but alas, I didn't think about that until long after the picnic was over.

I was not on the planning committee and wasn't last year either, but I think next year I'll suggest a few changes. Like the group photo I mentioned, and maybe some kids games to keep things going. DH suggested an icebreaker game to get everyone talking to everyone else. There did seem to be little groups of people that knew each other that stuck together. So we'll see. 'til next year.

My week of TLO is coming to an end!

This past week has been great to have off of work! I could really get used to being a stay at home mom, except of course that the pay isn't very good :(!

This week I've been able to get laundry done, clean house, play with Grace, run the older girls around to their activities, AND workout at the Y almost every day!! Those are quite the accomplishments for me, and way more than I can do during the week when I'm working.

Sadly, tomorrow is my last day on TLO. Of course, I'll still be off work for the weekend and the holiday on Monday, but then it's back to reality on Tuesday.

I still have a couple of things to finish that I set as goals for the week. One is finishing up Grace's curtain for her bedroom. The other is cleaning out DD2's closet to make room for things in our room that don't really belong there. I still have tomorrow to get that done, so it should be another busy day.