12 Years post adoption....

Well, here we are...10 years after my last full post. Thought I'd catch you all up on what's been happening. Grace is now 12, and by that I mean full-blown all out 12 years old! She's into clothes, makeup and shoes (although DH and I don't let her wear makeup outside the house). Her passion is now figure skating. She started two years ago in January, and has progressed steadily to be in the pre-figure skating 2 class at our local ice skating rink. She also take private lessons with two different coaches and competes around the state. She's come a long way in those two years, but still has much to learn. I'm happy that she's found the sport that will keep her active and fit. She's also made friends with some of the other figure skaters, as she's joined the local skating club. In addition to skating, she is one smart cookie. She carries straight A's consistently in school and is in accelerated classes for Math and Language Arts. I know that at some point she'll hit a wall where she'll have to work harder to understand the concepts and maintain her GPA, but for now she seems to effortlessly maintain her grades. It's not because of anything DH or I have done, it's because she is a smart girl. We can't and don't take credit for it. All of the credit goes to her biological parents from whom she inherited her brains. We now have a second beagle dog. He's two years old. Our first beagle, C, had to be put down a few years ago because he had a brain tumor. it was the first time I'd experienced putting down an animal, and boy was it hard for all of us. I'm not a dog fanatic like some people, and I knew that it was the right thing to do, but even so there were lots of tears and sadness for a long while afterwards. I figured we were done with having a family dog, but then a couple of years ago in a weak moment we gave into getting a 7 week old beagle puppy, K. He's a sweet dog, and the girls love him. But even with the love they feel for him, I'm usually the one to take care of him. I'm guessing there are many parents out there that can relate! DD1 graduated college 3 years ago, and moved back home for about a year and half to figure out her future plans. She worked at a couple of different jobs that she didn't like, and decided to go back to being part time at the tanning salon while she works on her masters. She moved out of the house almost a year ago, and now is engaged to be married next summer. We've started the wedding planning already. It amazing how far in advance you have to plan these things. But it's going well, and she's happy. In the meantime, DD2 is graduating from college this coming summer. She's taken a job at an autism center close by, so she'll be moving back home in May. Then she'll be starting her masters after she pays off some (hopefully all) of her college debt. She's single and focusing on herself. I think that's a good plan for her right now. She'll have plenty of time to find the right guy and settle down. Right now is her time. DH is semi-retired now. He drives a school bus so we can keep health insurance, because I took a buy-out at my company and retired a few years ago. I absolutely LOVE being a SAHM to Grace. Working full-time during the time our older girls were growing up means I'm so grateful to have this time with my last baby. She and I are really close. We have our moments where we don't get along, but nothing out of the ordinary. That's not to say that it's all been roses...When Grace was 5 and she tasted her first sense of independence after learning to ride a two wheeler, we started seeing behavior issues that we just didn't know how to handle on our own. We started seeing a family counselor that specializes in attachment issues. I won't go into too much detail because I want to maintain privacy, but after a couple of years of work on mostly DH and I's parenting style, we came out the other side in good shape. I'm not expecting this to last forever, as I think we'll be headed back in for counseling as we try to navigate the teen years. I'm telling you all this, so as not to discourage anyone from adopting, but in order to be honest about what you may experience. Our counselor told us that when you adopt it's not a matter of if you'll need help from a professional, but rather a matter of when. As adoption issues will come up. And if you think about it, it makes sense. There's a profound loss that an adoptee experiences, and that causes trauma. Trauma is something that can't be buried, and must be addressed. That trauma may be expressed by your adopted child when they are young, a teenager, or an adult or maybe all of those stages in different manifestations. It's important to know that and be prepared. Before we adopted, we had to go through the classes taught by our adoption agency on trauma, attachment, behavior issues, etc. I remember hearing in the training classes that you "may" experience the issues brought up during the training, so I decided in my naivete that we would not be one of the people that would experience these issues. We'd be "the lucky ones". So when we did start having issues, I was surprised and in denial. I really wish that I'd understood more fully what I was getting myself into. I think I would've gone for help sooner and not been so hard on myself, my DH and my daughter because I felt like we'd failed in some way. We love our daughter and she loves us, but unfortunately it's not enough. Love does not cure all, but love does provide the basis for understanding that we all need help once in awhile, and there's no shame in that. So that's my tale of caution for anyone considering adoption.

2nd adoption?

Ok. I haven't seriously expressed this outloud to hardly anyone, but I feel like I need to get it off of my chest because it probably won't happen. I have been getting emails from an organization called Rainbow Kids about waiting children from Asia. Waiting children are children that are older (above 3 years old) that are available for adoption. I received about 6 emails over the last couple of weeks. Most of these children are girls, but there were a couple of boys too. Most of these children are healthy, but some of them are not.

I have been looking at these children feeling like maybe we are being called to adopt again. The disadvantages of course are our age, and the money. We can get around those though if God is truly calling us to adopt. The advantages are that Gracie would have sister or brother of Asian origin, and I've been told that as a transracial adopted child gets older, it helps them feel like they belong. Also, of course, we'd be giving another child a family and a chance to know Jesus as their savior. That's a big one. If, and that's a big if, since DH doesn't even want to consider it right now, we did this we'd be adopting a child that's older than Gracie. That would keep her as the baby of the family. I think that would be a good thing.

The big thing about this is that if we are being called to do this, we need to act on it almost immediately because of DH's age. We're about to age out of the possibility. I gingerly broached the subject with him, and his response was something about going crazy if we did adopt again. So, he's not on board.

I'm praying for discernment on this. I thing I need to let God work on DH's heart. If it's meant to be, then he'll come around. I waver back and forth on whether this is right for us or not, so I'm not even sure. Last time with Grace I was sure. So maybe it's just a dream, flash in the pan thought, or maybe....?

Our day at Holiday World

A couple of weeks ago we took a trip to Holiday World. Here's some video of Grace on one of the rides at the amusement park there.

Having blood drawn hardly ever goes well for me!

So the topic of my post today is getting blood drawn. Ever since I can remember getting any blood drawn for any reason, at any location all over the country, I've been told that I have small veins that are difficult to find. For years, I endured having someone poke me with needles trying to find that elusive vein that would produce blood. They poked, prodded, and worst of all, fished for the vein by moving the needle around in my arm without removing it. Always, it hurt, and usually I ended up bruised. Not a good experience, but I endured it because I thought there was no other way.

Until...We were living in Fairfax, VA and I had to have blood drawn for some reason I can't even remember. I had to go to a clinic to have the blood drawn, and you can imagine I was not looking forward to being a human pin cushion yet again. So I go in and tell the tech that was to draw my blood, a very nice young man, that I had small veins and that people always had trouble finding a good vein. This guy said something along the lines of "well, we'll take care of that by using a butterfly needle." I'd never heard of or seen a butterfly needle, but was truly impressed by how easily this tiny needle with "wings" went in and quickly found the vein producing the vials of blood that were needed. He told me that whenever I needed to have blood drawn I should always tell them to use a butterfly needle.

That experience was almost 20 years ago, and as you can imagine there have been many times after that where I've had to have blood drawn by many different technicians. Of course, I alwys tell whoever is working on me that I need to have a butterfly needle because of having difficult veins. Here's the part that just gets me everytime I go in to have blood drawn, about 9 times out of 10, the tech doesn't believe me and tries the standard needle. Sometimes I'll hear something about how they know what they are doing, and don't need someone to tell them how to draw blood. Sometimes they'll just ignore me and use the standard needle without saying anything. Today the woman that drew my blood, although being very nice, also did not believe me when I told her about the small veins needing to use a butterfly needle. She plowed on with the big needle in my arm, fishing around for the vein that couldn't be found. After I let out a small yelp when she was digging around, she finally gave up. She asked for the back of my hand on the opposite hand, got out a butterfly needle, and sure enough, first time was able to get blood and fill up the two tubes she needed.

So, what's with these technicians? Is it ego? Is it that they don't like someone else telling then how to do their job? Or is it a challenge for them (at my expense I might add!)? At any rate, I sure wish they'd get over it, and trust that I know what I'm talking about. It's not like I'm a teenager or something that hasn't been around for awhile!!! Argh!

We bought a new car (well sort of)!

On Saturday we went and picked up our 2002 Rav4, my new commuter car. It's really cute, and all 5 of us will fit in it if need be. We got a really good deal, and the insurance isn't too bad. Can't beat that!

2nd Annual Hands of Hope picnic

Well, as the title indicates, we had our 2nd picnic for the Hands of Hope Adoption and Orphan Care ministry on Sunday afternoon. I was a fun time. The weather was beautiful! We couldn't have asked for a better day. The kids all had fun, even my moody 15 year old daughter. Of course, that was because we told her she could bring a friend.

It was a small crowd, but everyone got along well and seemed to enjoy themselves. We had a few new families, and some that had adopted domestically, as we've expanded our ministry to include domestic adoptions.

I took both my camera and my Flip, but of course, I forgot to get them out, and hence no photos or video of the day. I thought afterwards that we should've had a group photo each year, but alas, I didn't think about that until long after the picnic was over.

I was not on the planning committee and wasn't last year either, but I think next year I'll suggest a few changes. Like the group photo I mentioned, and maybe some kids games to keep things going. DH suggested an icebreaker game to get everyone talking to everyone else. There did seem to be little groups of people that knew each other that stuck together. So we'll see. 'til next year.

My week of TLO is coming to an end!

This past week has been great to have off of work! I could really get used to being a stay at home mom, except of course that the pay isn't very good :(!

This week I've been able to get laundry done, clean house, play with Grace, run the older girls around to their activities, AND workout at the Y almost every day!! Those are quite the accomplishments for me, and way more than I can do during the week when I'm working.

Sadly, tomorrow is my last day on TLO. Of course, I'll still be off work for the weekend and the holiday on Monday, but then it's back to reality on Tuesday.

I still have a couple of things to finish that I set as goals for the week. One is finishing up Grace's curtain for her bedroom. The other is cleaning out DD2's closet to make room for things in our room that don't really belong there. I still have tomorrow to get that done, so it should be another busy day.

Photos of Grace with her cousin

Here are some great photos of Gracie with her cousin having a tea party. He is just a month younger than Grace, and they are great friends!

Photos from DD2's Intermediate School Musical Production of "Alice In Wonderland"

In April, DD2 was also in the school musical "Alice in Wonderland". I didn't get to take too many photos of the play, but did get a couple of her. She played the part the sassy daisy in the garden. She did a grat job. I was very proud of her!

Some Photos from Easter

I know I didn't post any photos from Easter at the time, and I've finally had time to download photos off of our camera. So here they are.

Okay. I know I'm deliquent in posting

Yes, it's been awhile since I've posted anything on my blog. Sorry, but with 3 kids, a husband, a job, a house, and all the things that goes along with my life, I just haven't had time.

Work is stressful. I don't dare to think that it was ever calm down anymore. I think that's just the wa it's going to be. I've accepted that, but along with that, have decided that instead of focusing all my energy on work there are other things that are more important in life. So I'm pulling back on the overtime I had been putting in since January. Now I'm trying to stick to about 40 hours a week (which actually is 8 hours of unpaid overtime for me, since I only get paid for 32 hours a week!).

Lots of things have been going on. I don't have time to post about them now. If you want to see little snippets of my life, and I know you, you can consider requesting me as a friend on Facebook. I'm much more adept at taking 5 minutes to keep up with sharing what's going on instead of writing on the blog. I'm not abandoning the blog (at least not yet), but you probably won't see me posting as much as I used to.

Playdoh and Strawberries

Okay. I know that those two things don't normally go together. And they really don't in this case either except that that's what I have photos of. Grace playing with Playdoh, and Grace eating strawberries. I took the Playdoh photos, DD2 took the strawberry eating photos.

Not too much to say about it, other than Grace enjoyed both!

Putting up our Easter Tree

The other day my niece, who has 3 daughters, sent a Smilebox of 2 of her girls (the smallest one is a tiny baby) putting strings on plastic eggs and hanging them on a tree in their front yard. Her daughters are young, 3 and 1. It was so darn cute, that I decided that I should see about getting our Easter tree up.

Several years ago my mother gave us a small Easter tree with little wooden ornaments that you hang on the tree limbs. It's a table top tree. We used to put it up every year, but then as the two older girls got older, it didn't seem to be a high priority. Last year, you may recall, I wasn't even home for Easter as I was with my father because he was very ill.

So this year, I decided to ressurect the tradition of putting up the tree. Grace thought it was pretty cool, although she did the same thing that the other two girls used to do when they hung the ornaments on the tree - hung them all on the same branch! I took a few photos to mark the occasiion. You can see that Grace got a little tired of me asking her to smile, because she gave me this cheesy goofy smile in some of the photos!

But she's still adorable, if I do say so myself. DD1, DD2 and DH weren't home, so they missed out on the activities.

Happy Birthday to Me, a little belated

My birthday was on March 1, but because we were on our way to El Salvador that day it was decided that the celebration wouuld be postponed until sometime later. That amount of time was ambiguous, and truthfully I figured that it would just be forgotten. However, leave it to my sweet DH to not forget how important birthdays are to me! Last night he declared that we were going to celebrate my birthday, and asked me where I wanted to go. Well, a few years ago just after some friends of ours' daughter died, I had wanted to take them out to help celebrate my birthday as sort of diversion. We all went to Benihana's, and although I'm not sure if it was really a diversion for the family we were with (what really could be in such a sad situation?!), we had a good time watching our food being cooked at our table, trying to eat with chopsticks, and experiencing something different.

So I decided that we should go to Benihana's again, this time as a family of 5 instead of 4. So off we went. DH was thoughtful and called ahead for a reservation, so we didn't have to wait at all when we got there. We were seated with another family of 4, that appeared to be mom, dad, 1 teenage daughter, and one 8 or 9 year old daughter. They were not very talkative, and actually I thought they didn't seem very happy. At any rate, we didn't interact too much. I was more interested in Grace's reaction to the whole grilling at the table thing. She surprisingly liked the soup, and ate the entire bowl! That was good, because that's about all she ate, with the exeception of my complimentary birthday bowl of chocolate ice cream that she ate at the end of the meal.

So how did she react? Well, really not too much at all. She was interested in watching our chef (I guess that's what you'd call him?), but not overly intersted. I thought she would get excited watching him cook, flipping the spices and trying to entertain the table guests. She wasn't too impressed. Mostly she just ate her soup. The other girls liked it though, and all of us tried sushi. My first time, along with DD1 and DD2's first. DH had had it before. I can't say that I hated it. It was more of a feeling of "why would I order this as it's nothing special" feeling. I think DD1 felt the same way I did. DD2 didn't like it, and even took the salmon off to finish up the one roll she had.

DD1 and DH ended up eating most of the shrimp and steak, and both said they were stuffed. I ate a little shrimp and steak, but mostly chicken. I really liked the fried rice, and the salad. I think although it wasn't the best birthday I've ever had, it was a nice time. We bought an about to be expired mini birthday cake at Miejer to top off the evening, but alas, we didn't even slice it. Everyone was too full, and it was too late by the time got home. So another birthday celebration behind me. The good thing about birthdays is that there'll be another one next year!

San Salvador Men's prison

One of the most inspiring things that we did while we were in El Salvador was visit a men's prison and share in their worship service with them. We were late arriving, so the inmates were already singing. It was quite moving to watch these men who may be imprisoned for 20 years, worship with such passion. The service was run by prisoners too, so the pastor and the musicians were also prisoners.

In watching and participating in this service, I realized that although these men are imprisoned, they really understand the message of hope and freedom that Jesus brings for all of us. Not just for the priviledged few here in the USA, but for all of his children.

Here's some of that service.

San Salvador Special needs school visit

While we were in San Salvador, we visited a special needs school. I can't remember the name of the school, but it was quite a pleasant place. Evidently it used to be a women's prison, and was converted to this school in the 1970's.

All the children were very well behaved, and seemed happy. The special needs of the children that we saw were pretty mild. It is a public school, but I guess the children travel from all over to go to school here.

One of the classes that we visited was for the 16 to 21 year olds. They were learning how to make enchilladas which were deep fried dough. They were also making little paper bags to be able hold the enchilladas to be able to sell them. Here's a video of that class.



We also visited the music room while we were there. It was pretty pitiful the musical instruments that they had, and showed the need for these children. Here's a video I took while we watched the teacher teach the children.

St. Vincente de Paul Orphanage

We also visited another orphanage that was state owned, but run by sisters from the order of St. Vincent de Paul. This was a very large orphanage compared to the other two that we visited. There were 300 children living here, ages ranging from birth to 12 years old. I guess when the children reached 12, they were sent to other homes specifically for their age. The sister that took us on a tour said that the children get up at 4:30 a.m. everday to start their day!!!

When we first got there, there was a group of 5 and 6 year old girls outside playing. When they saw us, they ran up and started singing and hanging all over some of our group. Here's a video that shows them singing and shows some of the orphanage.



We also got to see where they same little girls slept, along with the 5 year old little boys. Here's a video of that room

Getting caught up

I know I didn't post like I wanted to while we were in El Salvador. We are back home now, as of late Friday evening. I have a little bit more time, and a lot more bandwidth to download photos and video. So I'll pick up posting on our 3rd day. We visited a home for pregnant teenagers that was supported mostly by Pro Life. There were 7 girls living at the home, and each one had babies. The youngest girl was 11 years old, and had an 18 month old baby!! It was really heartbreaking to see the girls in such a situation where the fathers of the babies were uncles, brothers, fathers, and grandfathers of these girls!!! Most of the girls go back to their homes with their babies when they are ready. The perpetrator has been removed because he is in prison for incest. So the home is safe for the girls. I don't know how long most of the girls stay, but it was refreshing to hear that the girls are not put out of the home just because of having their babies, hitting a certain age, or a certain time period they've been in the home. The director of the home, Geraldine, was very nice and really loves the children. The girls were not overly friendly, but they seemed better off than they would've been without the home. Here's some video that I shot while I was there. The two Salvadorian women in the video were volunteers that were there to train the girls in cosmotology. They own their own salons and come in to help out on their own time. We brought the girls little cosmetic bags filled with personal items, so that what they are opening and looking at in this video.

2nd Day Out

I know I am a day behind, but with everything that we're doing each day it's hard to post. So this post is about Tuesday.

We left for Si, a La Vida in the morning. It is a home teenage girls that are pregnant. It is a pro life home. We met with director, who was very nice and really cared for the girls and the babies. Her name was Magdelena. It was somewhat of a sad place because the girls were all there because of sad reasons. For instance, the youngest girl was 11 years old, and had a baby that was 18 months old!!! The home, though, was a safe place for the girls and their babies. The babies were beautiful.

Our next stop was Mi Casa orphanage. It is a small orphanage that is really two homes, one for boys and one for girls. It is in the center of the city. The director and his wife run the home. They are a Christian couple that are providing a home setting for the children. We had a wonderful time playing with and interacting with these children. I even played volleyball with a few of them in the backyard!

Next was lunch with the director of Exodo. We were supposed to meet with an official in the government that handles taking applications for adoption to court for finalization, but she was unable to meet with us. We had a very nice, but filling!, lunch with Iris. We were able to ask more questions about Exodo and learn more about the orphanage.

Our last stop for the day was St. Vincente de Paul orphanage. It is a state owned orphanage that is run by nuns. It is VERY large, and well structured. We were very impressed with how this orphanage ran like a well oiled machine. We were able to meet with the 4 and 5 year old girls when we first got on the property. What a blessing that was! These little girls were so cute!!! They even sang impromptu songs for us!

I can't upload any photos because of lack of disk space, so I guess that will have to wait until I get home.

First Day Out

Sorry I didn't post sooner, but I was just too tired to post anything yesterday. Then we had an early start this morning. So I couldn't post until now.

Yesterday we visited an orphanage call Exodo. It is made up of 4 homes. Each home has house parents and a cook. Two of the homes are for boys and two for girls. Right now they have 47 children living there. They take children as young as 2. The children can stay until they are adults, and have training and can support themselves. It really is a wonderful place, and it's obvious the children are well loved and cared for.

The kids all really liked the Flip, so I took lots of videos of them with it, and they were able to see me play it back right away. It was really fun, but I sure wish I could speak Spanish! It has been so frustrating to not be able to speak to the children beyond hola and adios!!!

Here are a few photos from our visit.